Disappointment

Has experiencing disappointment been a stepping stone in your life? Did it lead to a new adventure, exciting new career, relationship, hobby? Was it a path to personal growth? Did disappointment ultimately enrich your life in some unexpected way? Did you life change in some way because of it?

7 responses to “Disappointment

  1. During the last five years I have faced simply unbearable disappointment in my life. I have had to part from a husband who refused to recognize and get help for his mental illness. There has been dysfunction and estrangement within the world of my own children and grandchildren. This was a fallout from the divorce which saved my own mental health. Disappointment seems like such a mild word to use when I think of all that my family has been through. Deception, addictions, loss. To cope, I got therapy. Read countless books. Joined two wonderful online support groups (Landofoz@yahoogroups.com and Estranged Stories.com) What wonderful balm these groups were to my battered heart! I found not only people who understood what I had gone through but were willing to walk beside me. I found comfort in good friends, Adult Child of Alcoholic Groups and CODA.
    Having done everything to help my former husband cope with his mental illness and depression,
    I almost didn’t make it out alive myself. I endured Hades and high water! The real problem was that he didn’t want help in any form. He truly believed he was ‘normal’ even though he was diagnosed borderline personality as well as bipolar two. In addition he had two ongoing addictions. The final break for me came after years of his lying to every therapist he was in treatment with. It is as hard to leave someone under these circumstances as it is to leave an abusive spouse. In many ways to stay under these circumstances is self abuse. Your first loyalty is to your own sanity.

    Having read Patricia and John Gallagher’s book “No More Secrets” – http://www.speakingaboutdepression.com/, I can very much understand that most people have no idea how to cope with depression and attempted suicide. Even today, there is a cloud of secrecy surrounding this issue.
    Their book gave me insight on the devastation that occurs in a family when secrets of this magnitude are kept. My family will never recover from the secrets and lies that took place during those years. I pray that one day we reach a ‘new normal’. The Gallagher’s book is uplifting and speaks to the value of truth. It helped me to cope with my own tragedy.

  2. Disappointment comes calling when you least expect it but what you do when it happens is most important. I had big plans for the rest of my life; my children were finally in college and my husband and I could now enjoy the fruits of our hard work.

    One morning my husband, while walking across the street, was killed by an uninsured motorist. I remember waking up the next morning thinking what am I going to do now. But the bad luck continued; eighteen days later my house burned to the ground. My children were homeless and we were left without a father and a husband.

    The disappointment was overwhelming. I did not know where to turn to for guidance or help. Our finances, once stable, were completely in shambles. The after shock had me so distraught that I developed delayed stress syndrome. I knew something had to be done for my mental stability. It took some tough love, talking to myself, to remove the negativity that surrounded me.

    I learned disappoinments will happen in a life but when this happens a person has to embrace happiness, find courage to deal with day to day problems and look for balance in life; both emotional and financial.

    I learned to live with less money, found a wonderful condo on the lake and rediscovered family and friends. I used quiet time to clear my thoughts and took up golf and gardening. As I used my time for positive purposes my attitude also changed and I learned that one can turn a disappointment in life into a fresh, exciting journey if you open your heart and hear the voice offering you new hope.

    Today, I look at disappointments so differently than before and I know that today’s problems can be tomorrow’s opportunity if you think positively and strategically….happy thoughts!

  3. THE night at the Academy of Country Music awards – there I was among the stars, a nominee waiting to hear my name called as the Best New Female Artist of the year. This is it! Here goes! Live network TV. I did my performance. I went backstage. I waited – and some other singer learned she was the winner. This was my award. This was my path. What happened? What went wrong? I spiraled down into a deep dark depression which lasted for months and months. But — and this is a very big but — that depression turned my life around. I share the details in my book “On Angel’s Wings” but the short version is that I started writing down what I was feeling, and at some point I discovered I was actually writing songs. I crept over to the piano in the dark of one night, writings in hand, and I nervously, cautiously put my hands to the keyboard. The music came pouring out. The words turned into song lyrics. I sang MY words, about what was in MY heart, set to MY music. And the world came into focus, and I knew why I was here.
    I am getting better every day at trusting that there really is a Plan, and that even though I have no idea what it looks like – Somebody clearly does. You can hear cuts from some of my songs at http://www.KarenTaylorGood.com – perhaps some of the ones that speak to disappointment and depression – “Until I am Strong Again”, “What If” (what if everything that makes me sad, turns out to be not so bad?), “What I Need” (“I don’t always get what I want –I get what I need”) will help you as they helped me. My love note to you if you are suffering from disappointment or depression – hang in there. Those doors are banging shut for a reason. You are a precious child of God and you are being pushed, nudged, and guided toward your Destiny.

  4. Charlotte Leavitt

    I suppose that many may feel disappointed in severeal things in their life, I mtself cannot remember a time of being disappointed simply because I have never expected a great deal in my life or of others in my life.Even when others have been hard on me I never felt disappointed because I had always felt that way about myself for so long it was just part of acceptance. I never questioned it. I have never expected so much in life that I would find myself being disappointed. I have known that life brings so many good things in so many sizes some being very small and some very astronomical and it never really entered my mind whether or not anything was a disappointment. I do not expect perfection from other people or from myself so that counteracts any type of disappointment. I have always accepted life with al of it’s turns and twists and have been benefited in so mmany ways that how could I ever think of these as being any type of disappointment. I am actually right at the place I am supposed to beand that is a wonderful feeling. I grasp life with a series of great experiences and many people to come my way to teachme things whether it is tobe like them or to say no I am not this type of person but I can undrstand how some can be the way they are. I am so happy to be here and not to be disappointed especially in myself because that is the greatest I myself could have. I was never a disappointment in my eyes.

  5. DISAPPOINTMENT:

    What are you so disappointed about? What is making you feel let down? Who has not come up to your expectations? Who do you trust? Why do you trust them? Why did you put your confidence in them?

    Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you would just accept yourself? Look at yourself? Look in the mirror? Do you see yourself as a failure? Why? Who said something to make you function and think that way? What did they say? How did they say it?

    God is the only one who cares about YOU! He made YOU! He designed YOU to be able to: find people who truly care about you, be surrounder around people who will build you up and not tear you down! God wants to leave you to what is best for you.

    When you are disappointed, you are disappointed in yourself. You feel let down. Not treated fairly. You feel like things won’t change. You feel out of control. You feel like things won’t ever change.

    Disappointment is a yoke around your neck. It makes you feel like you are pulled down. You feel like you can get up and get going.

    However, remember, we can be a great success when we learn to look at the lessons we learn when we are disappointed. What did we expect? Write that down! Why did we expect this to happen? Write that down! Now, since it did not work the way that we wanted it to, we are full of saddness and disappointment.

    YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND!

    Make a new plan and offer it to God. Let Him lead you. He will figure it out for us. While we are waiting for our new appointment, dis-appointment will leave. Why? Now we have hope and great belief that something better will come.

    WHEN GOD CLOSES ONE DOOR, HE WILL OPEN ANOTHER AND ANOTHER AND ANOTHER….He will be there all of the way!

    DON’T GIVE UP on your future. Trust God with it. He knows all about it.

  6. CHALLENGES + DISAPPOINTMENTS + FAILURES = TOTAL SUCCESS is the tentative title of my memoir still in the works. If I have better luck on this ms than on my first, I may be able to post exerpts from that on this site. I suppose I could do it anyway, whether or not it is a published work. Any feedback on that? I have about about a billion of so good examples of failure or near failure that have all developed into success for me. I am not through yet, however. After over 200 rejections from literary agents and publishers for my first would-be book (ms) I am still charged and ready to have it on the bookshelves of Barnes and Noble. I have proven for myself that all of those challenges, disappointments and failures have most assuredly worked to make me a much better person with a feeling of success, even before my first published book. I feel good, tah-da-da-da-da-da-da. John

  7. No appointments, no disappointments is an old saying, I do not know its origins. As a psychotherapist, it is a central issue in depression as people build up expectations/hopes/fears/and anticpatory anxiety only to find the outcome quite different than they expected. The quote…life gets in the way of plans is another way of saying the same thing. Of course, it is not possible to have “no appointments” it is a direction not a realistic goal. Since flexibility is a hallmark of good mental health, rolling with the punches fits in here.

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